Biography Poem

Laura Ann
Indifferent Smart Hyper Adventurous
Being the only child with no mother and father in plain sight
Lover of my grandmother, basketball,writing,poetry

Who feels inadequate as if there is still missing pieces to this puzzle
Who feels as if I'm too younger to be going through what I'm going through
Who feels as if this will make me a stronger person on the inside and out
Who feels as if I'm unstoppable
Who give words, inspiration and a hope and a future
Who has been waiting patiently
Who needs unconditional love of a true mother and father should have to offer
Who needs a Teddy bear and her brother, Kevin ErvIn my teddy bear
Who fears to be tainted, destroyed, or even that dark passenger that you fear in the eyes
Who says I can do his, I'm invincible, Lets go!
Who would someday like to be that person you didn't think I could be, that famous basketball/ saxophonist/journalist
Resident of Manhattan, New York
Coleman

A Voice within the school body of 400

Yesterday I got this letter from my school an urgent one a matter a fact. The letter brought fourth about how the Board Of Ed took away 2 classrooms of our 22. Now we have a lack of classrooms provided for The Opportunity Charter School which holds starting in September 400 students from 6th to 12th grade. As the letter stated; Students will be forced to adapt to crowed classrooms WHICH WILL DISTRACT FROM THEIR ABLITY TO LEARN AND PREFORM. Also FEWER COURSES WILL BE OFFERED, THE SAFTY OF THAT CHILD WILL BE COMPROMISED.
When I read this I was in shock because we never had this type of propblem but now that I see they are putting a 2nd school inside another school which totals up to three schools. The Board Of Ed need to get their stuff together they should know putting another school inside will cause problems. OCS had problems getting testing space in the past years when we were forced to test in stairwells and even the gym. ALso we had problems when the other school ( Family Academy ) interfered with our school at times.
The Board Of Education needs to think things throughly before putting another school inside a school and think about how it can affect the children from the school body and how can it affect that childs willingnesss to learn in crowed classrooms. The Board OF Education needs to look at all of these empty lots and make schools out of them. I dont understand how they would take the time to invest money on a new stadium right a cross the street from the orginal in shuch a short time when they could of built probably two schools wroth as one. It's not just us OCS that education is a t risk but also other students whom school is within another school. They to lack lots or maybe more them we do. Maybe they dont have proper equipment, maybe they dont have a gym or maybe damaged places within the school. The Board Of Education needs to get their crap together because its not just me but other students as wellcare about their education and cant have this crisis now.
I'm currenty a OCS (Opportunity Charter School) student going to the 11th grade in 2 and a half weeks. I'm very disppointed to hear about this right before school starts. I strongly care about my education and I can't acept the fact that my education particularll is at risk. Jr. year is important because colleges look especially at your jr. year. Also I know we all will be fighting for the gym and especially durning afterschool the sports teams need the gym and now we"ll have limited of time to get it. But most of all I just cared about getting the right education needed without any problems with course limtied or lack of classromm space due to the Board Of Education.

Please help our school find a voice to prevent such actions happen and help our school fight for a higher education because this is a cirtical situation we are in....

A Letter's Reply

A simple reply to a letter
Would simply not be enough
To show all the love that I hide
Deep within my soul.

A simple reply to complexity
Would be blowing into the wind...
So I've decided to stray from simplicity
And give you my hand instead.

You've taught me who I am,
And taught me how to love again.
You've opened locked doors and thrown away tormenting keys

A loss for words would be an understatement for the millions I have bottled up
Just waiting for that bus stop hug
That mcdonalds smile
That street race
Or that game-winning nod...

So I leave you with this:
I remember vividly the first time you hugged me
No, not the first time I hugged you
Nor the first time we embraced.
It was that fateful night
Simple but complex
And everything you ever needed to say
Was intertwined in your hug
Which could have been all of five seconds
But lasted for a lifetime...

Remember your brother
Is always there
Through time and space
Through challenge and fear
And a reply could not be complete
Without a true revelation of who you are and who you'll be.

You inspire generations, both yours, the ones before and the ones after.
You inspire me.

Growing Pains

Sometimes I feel invisible
Invisible to the world
'Cause nobody ever listens
Listens to my words

It hurts so much, this expansion
Stretching since my birth
I'm stuck in the middle of dimensions
Not to mention I'm here on earth

Oh, this pain I feel is normal
Or I guess that's what they say
Wear my heart on my shoulder
Or its written all over my face
I can't seem to find solitude
Can't seem to find my place
I guess I chalk it up to
Simply growing pains

Like standing alone in a crowded room
Or april without may
Like a writer with no utensils
Or a painter with no paint

Impossiblities are my reality
Normalcy is my fate
But I can't settle for what's given to me
I've got to make my way.

Oh, this pain I feel is normal
Or I guess that's what they say
Wear my heart on my shoulder
Or its written all over my face
I can't seem to find solitude
Can't seem to find my place
I guess I chalk it up to
Simply growing pains

Time

Time on the wall ticking on by
Seconds quickly going on by as minutes come and go
Hours building by time as weeks goes by
Months begin to come which eventually and turns into years

Time on the wall suddenly stops
Memories are visualized taken back into time
Reliving memories of the past
A first kiss
A first dis
A loss...
A new one enters
Time to see history made
A new era of style, music, fashion
Times of lessons learned
Timing back to lost memories

Time on the wall suddenly repeats
Thoughts of times of the bad and good
Time repeating lost in deep down thoughts
Time confronting you in the face
Restless times
Exhale

Time on the wall ticking on by
Time stops and repeats and continues to go on by
Time on the wall is what I'm living to the fullest by
Confronting me on how much it means to me
Having exhale of the thrill of times I relive
Have lesson learned to teach me more
Waiting for the time to start living my life with you
What are you doing with your time?

Pictures

Captured quickly
Lasting forever
Funny how a memory can be held.

Snapshot discovery
Frozen reality
Serious how time can be stopped

Past wishes
Future hopes
Interesting how space can be frozen in time.

Mental complexity
Spiritual simplicity
Helpful how faith can be spawned by sight

I dream in snapshots
I pray in polaroids
I'll wait for reality to reach scientology
And my negative reel to meet positivity.

I'll watch as the old fades to new,
Waiting for the candles to be blown out, the first steps, or first kiss,
That last memory to become my first reality
And the past experience to become my present,
And my future will be decorated with digital stills of the memories that helped me to get to me end...

Thank you pictures, thank you friends...

Speak

Slienced of words that I speak
Slienced from what my mind reeks
My mind is telling me to speak but my body wont allow to speak my words aloud
It seems as if I'm too young to be taken seriously
A wrold crashing down on me to what is seemed as people always judging me
Sometimes I just can't wonder if this is how it's ment to be
But as time and time again goes on by
The more and more I want to speak
It seems as if before the words I spoken of were useless
It makes me so enraged
Because I'm so young that doesn't mean you can't trust me
Unless that's what you made me to be
So I've had enough....

Words came pouring out of me
I was once a prisinor of words but then I suddenly broke free
Broke free of those who want to write me off on the wall
Broke free of those who couldn't care less to trust me
I know what's real
I know what's true
I know if you give me a chance to speak my "POETRY & THOUGHTS IN MY MIND"
It's from what's in my heart
I speak the truth
I know what's right for me and I definitally know what's not
People make mistakes it's apart of life
There are times when you think your right
Theres time when you know your right
If you have something to say I will listen and then you'll hear what I have to say
I will fight for what I know deep down in my heart through my own words

I'm tired of having the stress on my back
Those who done something to me haven't seen me react
Words Words Words are always holding me back
But not this time...
I will react to what nescessary
There was so much tension going on in my head but now it is released in a much healthier way
I have a lot to overcome for myself
I am strong and speaking about what's on my mind will make me even stronger
I've learned to SPEAK...

Sometimes...

Sometimes I daze away
Daze away into my own imaginary world
Just for that moment I'm gone
Until
Everything comes back into focus
Sometimes I wish a lot of wishes
Sometimes I wish the nearly impossible
Sometimes I wish to prove those wrong
They day when I can speak up about "Thoughts. In my Mind" aloud
Sometimes I wish I can turn back the hands of time
A time in history just for that moment I'll be gone reliving happy times
Sometimes I don't know why
Why this happens
WHy thats happens
But I guess it all happens for a reason
But I guess it's better not knowing the answer at all
Sometimes it makes me cry
But I try to show no tears
Show no weekness of emotion
But all I wanted to know is why
Maybe sometimes you can help me find out

Hiku Poems

Red Wild Flarey Flames
Hotter Then A Summer Day
With The Color Rage


Stormy Weather Breeze
Stormy Waves Of Stormy Seas
Water Splashes Free

The Tears I Cry

The tears I cry is because of you
Running down my face dropping on a piece of paper from me to you
The tears I cry is because of what you are to me
Your my SuperHuman who always saves my day
Super love is what you have to make sure I'm never sad
You are most of all my Big brother that's one of a kind
The tears I cry is because of the fun times I reminise that makes a smile of my face
I cry the tears of joy
Each tear I cry has its own meaning
The tears I cry are sometimes unexplainable
Just a sudden tear running down my face not because I'm sad well just a little but
I just cant explain the meaning of my tears nowadays
The tears I cry is of missing you and having the strength to not let go
I love my big brother with or without you by my side for the moment
I cry my tears but I'm still smiling...

In My Mind

Sometimes when I'm scared of the world
Or afraid of myself,
When I can't escape my past
Or face my future
I can find refuge
In my mind.

Sometimes when the clouds have swollen
The sun has hidden
The rain is pouring
And my day is ruined
I can find beautiful rays of glorious weather
In my mind

Sometimes when I'm chained to the authority of others
And my decisions can only exist behind an iron mask,
When I'm oppressed by opinions and subsequently depressed by reactions
I can find freedom and peace
In my mind.

When time goes by too quickly
Or when it instantly stops
When July has snow
And December is hot
When I can be transparent and true to me,
All will be fine...
But til then, I'll spend my time
Waiting
In my mind.

The Blinded eyes...( the Not To Be Understood)

The blinded eyes are those who seek nothing that defines me
Based on what they seek through their eyes is just a beautiful figure but nothing more
Many see one thing, a few see different
The unblinded eyes are those who seek further to what might define me as; why so different
Those who dare to seek take risks to capture ones heart from the many others
Those who dare might seek too far down ones heart and might be the one to get hurt
Those eyes become filled with hatred
Heartbroken forever?
Because you left me I feel no guilt, no sorrow nor pain
Because your eyes once again became blinded not because of the image you see nor whats beyond but, a sudden change of heart which I cannot explain
You can't feel what you've done because of what you've became blinded by
Eventually that false feeling will perish away and you begin to feel the heartbroken
Be the heartbroken and to undo what has been done
Because of the sudden change of heart it will not be the same it will be damaged
The damaged can heal but never be the same
But the one who learn will not have the same damage once more
That damage makes me stronger
They call me the heartbreaker, not because I break them
Because they break me but I'm not damaged
I'm stronger and more alive
The blinded eyes of those seek nothing that defines me will never mean nothing to me

Teddy Bears

There are so many teddy bears
Big ones and small ones Blue ones or even pink ones
Teddy bears can be a gift for The young or even the old
Teddy bears are our buddy we carry around
Or the ones we sleep with by our side
Or the ones we hold tight in time of need
Teddy bears are the ones who might understand us the most
They just listen
Teddy Bears

Lost for the moment

Lost in the moment for now and forever
Reminiscing the times of her warm touch
Reminiscing her sweet soft voice as if I was listening to the perfect harmony of sweet sounds
Lost in the times when I always followed her as little duck follows momma duck
Lost in the times I was known as her walking stick always being by her side
Lost in the times when it was just me and her as mother and daughter

Lost in the moment for now and forever
Lost in the moment of the good ol' smell of her lovely cooking that still passes through my nose
Never getting old
My favorite of whipped cream and jello which was hard in some parts
And her most famous in her child's eyes, her homemade cake
Lost in the moment of the cherishable moments
Lost in the moment of her motherness to me
Lost in the moment of endless times

Lost in the moment of how much she meant to me for now and forever...

Hidden Within

Things hidden within
The things no one will ever see
Unless that is if you try
Everyone has a talent
Who doesn't
How can you know if dont try it
People who dont try something fail themselves from finding what they might truly love
Dertermined to make that talent their lifesyle
Talent is who you are
If you happen to have more then one you multi-talented
It makes you a wonder to others what your really capable of doing
Maybe the impossibe or maybe the greatest in what you do
Make history
Be that someone everyone talks about
About that wonderful talent that was once hidden but is now out there for the world to know about
You need to try something in order to know if you're good at it, if it works
Me...?
Basketball was pretty much my first talent
Never saw it coming to me til I tryed it
6th grade since Im the curious one wanted to try the saxophone
Couldnt play a single note
But I practiced ever since then and fell in love with the concept of music
Basketball have made me stronger physically and mentally
The saxophone also made me stronger mentally to be able to read the language of music
Also it made me more expressful
So in all of this I want everyone to know you if you have a talent stick with it
You just might be greater then you expected
Find your talent and dont give up on it and set the bar to greatness
Find that hidden talent and don't let it go to waste, it's something to cherish

"Always remember that the saddest thing in life is a wasted talent" - 1 of my Role Models/ Heros

Funny Memories... (Tru Stories)

Grandma's best dessert was jello with whipped cream. Ever since the first day I've tasted it I fell in love with it. One day I got greedy and stole the whole can of whipped cream and ran behind her bed. And ate the whole can of whipped cream. Eventually I got a butt whoppin but it was wroth it!

Thankgiving Dinner at school was over and a someone caught my attention in the street. As a continued walking I happened to turn around and walke into the No Parking sign. The people down the block heard and saw the pole shaking and told me if I was ok and laughted. I laughted too, what the heck it was funny even though by the time I got home my forhead was... yea....

One day I was curling my hair and I just happen to have the latest reaction that I was burning my forhead 5 sec later. Then when I looked into the mirror CON was imprinted onto my forhead from the brand Conway. It lasted for a week and boy oh boy...it was the topic of the week.

When I was a kiddie I was hyperactive. One day I was running around and run right into the shelf corner and got stiches right between my eye brows (harry potter somewhat). Also one day I tryed to eat a whole 5 pounds of sugar...dont ask...I was young and carzy.

One day grandma got me my first basketball and boy was that a dream come true. But there was sign effects that went along with my new basketball. Anyways I was bouncing at all around the house and broke a couple of stuff. Grandma told me to stop playing ball in the house but I was hard headed then and didn't listen. So she pulled the knife and tolf me to give her the ball. I didnt mess with her since sh had the knife in her hand. So she pops it with the kinfe and handed it back to my deflated. So then I had a very first deflated ball.

What inspires me???

What inspires me? Humm good question there. One thing that inspires me is the family I'm thankful to have. It's not the perfect family but, there's thing that we do and we always go back to loving each other as much as before.There's almost nothing that can tear us apart. Another thing that inspires me is performimg arts. In this case would be music and poetry. From reading people's poems gave me a tool to express how I feel though writing as well as playimg the saxophone. It's a funny story of how I even started playing the saxophone. But music through an instrument expressed so much feelings and inspirations without lyrics as if the music was talking itself. My heros inspires me each and everyday. The way talk, carry themseleves, and be understandable to those who those who dont have anyone to look up to. They make us stronger because they know what your capable of doing. People who had set the bar inspires me to rise it higher. People who have shown to do what other thought they couldn't do, makes me want to dare and show people what I can do. What inspires me is everything and that most of all I am too is an inspiration.

Role Model

I remembered the other day a teacher told me that she gave her students a project, to choose someone they admire and write about that person. She told me that everyone wrote about their father or mother whatever the case may be but, just one person wrote about me Laura. I was suprised ad so curious to whom this 8th grader may be. To hear someone looks up to me sounds like some made up stuff be this is real. I mean like I cant wait to read how I moved her in such ways that I'm the one she looks up to. I'm moved by just hearing the fact that I do make a diffrence in peoples lives even though I don't know it. I'm of filled with excitment and it makes me want to just be the person that I'm known to be and keep being that postive diffrence in someone life. Word...

Without

What if your born into the system of crazyness
Without someone you to call a Mom or Dad
Wthout a place as we refer as home
What if we lived without provety
What diffrence would that be
What if we lived without judgement
Would it be a dream differed
When we allow freedom ring,
When we let it ring from every village and every hamlet,
From every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day
When all of God's children, would hold hands and say thank god almight we're free at last
What if you couldn't go another day without hearing his or her voice
Even through the hardest time of the year
Without a loved one who is like a mother and everthing in between
Without the one you cherish the most
Without the meaing of HOPE without you...

Smile ;)

What does a smile represents? It can mean a sign of laughter or joy. Or maybe it's a sign of hope to ones heart. What does a smile not mean? Alot for one. Two it doesn't mean that your not a afride to admit the kind of person you are...bright,giggly and too much for me to say due to the limited amount of typing space lol. Anyways a smile is like the sun to bright up someones day and takes away those rainy days. And that's what a smile represents kinda simple. So smile like my big brother would always continue to say and don't let someone take it away.

Fear...

Thoughts of the past aren't like the one you face
Sitting in a confrence room confronting good girl to bad girl face to face
Everything was a nice smoothe ride
Now everthing changed into a dangerous roller coster ride
Life seems to be spinning out of control
What happened to a perfect family and everyone being themselves and the true me
Most of all, what happened to the perfect part of my life which is slowly fading
I hate you! she yelled
Why can't they all understand I like myself for who I am
Beacuse I've changed why is this happeneing
Thoughts racing pictures quickly flashing all the bad things she'd done
And how much she affected in her life
Everything all seem to be a blur
Shaking her head back and fourth yelling for it to stop
Looking in the mirror all she see in the room is no one but her.

Walking up to the mirror
Looking at the river of tears running down her face
Anger took it's toll and built up and then...
She goes out of control as if she wasn't heself anymore
Then...she punches and shatters the mirror
Standing on the other side was her fear
herself...

Tough Times

Tough times are always stressful times
Lately I've been going through stressful things
So much is going by so fast and hitting me hard
I've stumbled and have fallen
But had the courage to get back up and try even harder
Every day theres this other side who strides to best at my best
The other side is just the people who tell me different in it gets too my head
But I'm tired of letting people get the best of me
I control my own destiny
It's my time to make my own decisions for once
More doors open as less doors close
If doors dont open I'll build me one to open
One day at a time
Tough times are the learning times
As lerning times leads to great times
So if your going through tough times don't worry
Just worry about making it better...that's all

Someone New...

Someone new is taking over
Someone named Laura Ann
The little sister to a big brother his name is K-erv
He's an inspirational brother to me
And decided to write blogs about stuff stuff stuff
Just an extention to whats in his head but from a diffrent prespective
He who's someone inspirated me to do and couple of others too
Someone new is taking over
But is still the same tase

Atlantic City

I'm sitting here with our future, and contrary to popular belief it is not bleak.
Our future is very bright and very promising. But it is our duty to make sure that it happens.
My child is here with me in Atlantic City to make a speech about his camp experiences. He has on a vest and a tie and he blends in with all the posh people and he will be amazing with the support of the village that raises a child. Do what you must.

NewAge of Reason

My Age of Reason

What is reasonable to me you may not understand
Women have worked hard, too hard to be held down by a man
Abuse is unacceptable but its still tolerated
Many of us have prejudices and claim to be educated
The world is changing around us and we cant even see
That hating one another destroys who we are really meant to be
The movies, music and media, dictate what we should wear
They define beauty and no one seems to care
That kids are growing up lacking individuality
We tell them work hard so they can be all the can be
We don’t give them the tools to think for themselves
They hate who they are and want to be everybody else
That is behavior I consider immoral, to me
Not gays and lesbians trying to be free
Transgender, transsexuals most of us don’t understand
They have struggles everyday trying to fit the stereotype of a woman or a man
Who are we to protest and put down their beliefs
After all they are still people just looking for relief
People should question everything they are told
They will then be able to use all the knowledge that they hold
As far as religion, that choice is up to you
No one should force you to be a Buddhist or a Jew
Christianity is popular but popular isn’t always right
We seem to be at war with all Muslims, lets step in to the light
People change, ideas change and so do the seasons
Thanks very much Thomas Paine, but we need a new Age of Reason
Many things are wrong with society today
We cant turn our backs when we leave our children to play
Some needs to speak out against the wrongs of our time
Freedom of speech is legal its no longer a crime
But we are caught in TV and who has flashy clothes
We cant see the problems that lie beyond our own nose
Politically speaking, change seems to be in store
With the war that’s going on sorrow is knocking on our door
The environment is crying out and beginning to decay
Yet we still go to the gas pump, no matter the price we pay
Pollution and education, two things we control now
Will affect the future of kids, yet we worry about Nasdaq and Dow
Please find me some one, some one who understands
Thomas Paine set a foundation for us to take command
For us to begin
To take control of the world we live in
- Christine Shand

Advancement

I'm standing here amongst some of New York's and America's greatest songwriters and I feel no trepidation or intimidation. There's an eerie calmness, almost the feeling of being just where I should be.
Today I embark on the further advancement of my career. I'm at the ASCAP New York Sessions songwriters/publishers conference.

I'm here to be a sponge; to soak up all the information that I can, and to hit the ground running. I'll go as far as I can, and I guess God will have to do the rest.

Go Hard Always...

IceMan Cometh

Beside the winter's chill
Does my hear remain.
Thumping, beating, breaking
under the punishment of the others.
So, rather than declare defeat,
I turn my heart to blend as one.

My heart echos the whispy whispers
watchful freeze
Singing to loss, hurt, lack
Without relief.
A winter chill, sub zero feel
Encases my heart to never pump warm again.

-2009

The F-Words

Yesterday I was faced with a problem that I've never before been so heavily weighed down by. I was forced to practice what I preach.

Often times I preach the 2 F's, by which I live. Fix and Fight. Basically, if something is broken, Fix It, and if you love something and its going (or being taken) away, Fight For It.

Yesterday I was faced with the decision to both Fix something and to Fight for it. Something I love dearly was/is being STOLEN from me, in front of my face, but behind a proverbial glass window, through which I can see, but not pass. I did everything I could to thwart the thievery, but I lost.

I regrouped and rethought out the situation. My WHOLE life I've been telling people to fix things they've broken, and to fight for things they love. But here I was, beating myself up because I thought I had failed and had a huge part of my life torn away. Eureka! Fix it, but it's being stole, so FIGHT FOR IT, stupid.

So, that's where I am right now... Fighting for my heart. Fighting for my love. Fixing the things I've broken, patching up the holes and using prayer as the glue.

If you love something or someone, don't let it slip away, not lead pride hold you down and don't be too cavalier to step out on a limb. Make a DAMN fool of yourself, let them know everyday and GO HARD for it, and if you can't GO HARD then, simply, go home! Use your F-Words wisely.

I refuse to lose, either I win or I die. Pray for me as I continue this fight...

A Star is Born

Just a word to the world... Look out for this upcoming Talent:

Now, I don't regularly follow women's basketball, but as we all know, I LOVE my little sisters. Went to my little sister's game last night and there was an AMAZING PLAYER on her team. #5 on Opportunity Charter School's girls basketball team.

Look them up, show your support, and she's only in the 10th grade. Skill beyond her years. Dopeness at it's finest.

Is that the WNBA calling? By the way, her name's Laura and she's my little sister.

Lost & Found

"I thought we'd get to see forever, but forever's gone away..."

I know I've been missing for a little over a week, but I was away from the CPU for a while, but I was also searching for something.

We all have lost precious things. Our favorite action figure or doll, our favorite item of clothing, our best hat, etc... But all of those mundane items are replaceable; what about the irreplaceable? Those things, or people, who can never be replaced?

This month I've lost a lot. I lost my flash drive with the bulk of all my work in the past year. I've lost my laptop charger, so that doesn't turn on. Somewhere along the way, I even lost a part of me. A part of me that I've loved more than anything else, that I cherished above all, and that held the highest esteem in my life, just centimeters under God.

Or maybe that was centimeters above God.

I don't know. I hope it was the former. However, this being the 28th day without it has caused me to realise that it remains. In my heart is where it lives. That part of me that was so ever-present, always there is now gone.

I refused to cry, because I thought that with the tears leaving me, to never return, so would the piece of me over which I cried. LOVE LOCKDOWN

Growth

One song can spark a moment, one flower can wake the dream.
One tree can start a forest, One bird can herald spring.
One smile begins a friendship, One handclasp lifts a soul.
One star can guide a ship at sea, One word can frame the goal.
One vote can change a nation,One sunbeam lights a room.
One candle wipes out darkness, One laugh will conquer gloom.
One step must start each journey,One word must start each prayer.
One hope will raise our spirits,One touch can show you care.
One voice can speak with wisdom, one heart can know what's true.

I've realised, within only the last few hours, that it's all up to me. I often tell my kids not to be slaves to anyone else's actions; not to allow anyone's words or actions to change their mood or attitude. Yet, I found that there were some people who had power over me.
Not anymore, though. Because my tiny actions, my little shifts, can start a tidal wave of unwanted backlash. I've learned that the atmosphere around me is controlled by me.

Think about it. It only takes one - YOU.

Think About It.

I don't get mad
When it rains,
Because everyday can't be a good day.
            -David Aliaga Seijas

Period!

Yesterday someone asked me what I was doing for Valentines Day. I chuckled and remembered the last time Valentines Day crossed my mind: surprisingly, a few years ago on the same date (Feb 3.) as I sat in front of my computer ready to complete my order of a plethora of Valentines surprises and scanning menus and reviews for the right restaurant, an instant message box popped up that simply said "I think we should just be friends."

Today my Valentines Day came. No, no candy, flowers or late night gifts. Just a simple statement of "I Love You."

There is no need for anything more. I don't need gifts, and colors, nor a special day to express my love to you. "I Love You." is sealed in eternity and with finality through the period at the end! No ifs or because, just is. "I Love You." is not a statement of confirmation or in need of confirmation, but instead a statement of affirmation.

Merriam Webster says a period is the point or character used to mark the end of a declarative sentence; full stop. Through the PERIOD it becomes constant and steadfast, yet eternal. It is transformed into fact and not opinion and now becomes tangible. It now becomes a foundational element upon which everything else can be built.

So don't ask my why or how much, just take it as fact. Don't ask for the fanfare or the aesthetic grandeur, but rather take it in its purest form, which is its sweetest. Don't tell me you love me more, or try to compare it to anything else. It is what it is, period.

I love you. PERIOD. Yes, you, I LOVE YOU.

Running

Millions of children all across America will now hold a man who once sold drugs, but now accurately catches footballs as their idol and/or role model. Not because he changed his life, but rather because he can catch a ball well.

How obscured has our view of an inspiration, role model, or idol become. It's disheartening, and echoes in my thoughts as to why our youth is kept on a wheel of perpetual motion toward nothing. It echoes the dusty pages of Ralph Ellison's "Invisible Man," where it is often said to "keep this nigger boy running."

We unintentionally keep ourselves running in two different ways. All of my children from the Bronx, every last male child, aspires to be nothing other than a football player - no doctors, no lawyers, no presidents. The girls limit themselves to what they see regularly in the "feminine" light: teachers, nurses, etc... Never doctors, never lawyers.

Our role models have become rappers not writers, athletic not educated, entertainers not orators, and all the grey area in between.

One of my students is extremely "fresh;" he owns every pair of Jordans ever! I asked him who his favorite athlete was, he replied "What's an athlete?" Enough said.

Dominoes

This weekend I realised how much one's past effects one's present and future. Three defining parties walked into my life at some point or another in my past and have made me who I am today.

On Saturday I dropped off my Christmas gift to my brother Daryl, who subsequently stayed with me for the rest of the day. We joked, we laughed, we fought and we discussed fathers (not Daddys... there is a difference). His not so spectacular father, and my lackluster donor as well. Because of Daryl I work in a school with children; because of Daryl I know how to love a younger sibling; because of Daryl I know what it means to sacrifice with no intent of self return.

Sunday was a celebration of sorts. It wasn't the culmination of a season full of football, but rather the elevation of an old ___________... I watched as Ebony, someone who played such a huge role in my relationship with God, drew closer to God by entering into ministry. Funny how someone can have such an impact on your life yet not know. The foundation of my entire salvation was once based on this woman; who would've guessed?

Finally, I saw some old VP members, "The Haitian Mass." These girls are wonderful in every way. Through all the many ups and plentiful downs. They taught me patience; dependence through independence; and how to have fun even when you're down. I pushed them away because I feared that they were becoming too large in my life. Funny how you miss what you've given up.

So, food for thought: Without your past, there is no present, but how great of an impact did EACH element of your past have? MLK afforded me the opportunity to walk the halls of The Hotchkiss School; Lincoln paved Martin's road to Washington; in some small African village someone prayed to God that their generations would be blessed. Who do you effect?

Book's Cover

Today I walked into a small sneaker shop somewhere in Parkchester in the Bronx. They had a pair of Freddy Krueger dunks in the window. These gorgeous sneakers spoke wonders to me. Years of preparation, of Jordans, SB Classics, Dunks, Sb Dunks and even a pair of FILAs here and there.

The store worker, probably not owner, walked in and asked if he could help me. I asked how much the Freddy's cost and he replied, "Never mind them. They're too much." I replied, "How would you know how much I have? And how much are they?"

He calmly replied, "$1000, and I only have a size 11."

So, not only did he disrespect me, he didn't have my size. My cover doesn't allude to wall street or to the streets, it speaks to something in between; some proverbial safe ground merging the two.

Me clad in Yellow dunks, with red bottom under sole, and a Yellow and Gray Cardigan to match, simple yellow and red polka-dotted tie to accent could've and should've been angered by his statement. But it just let's me know, that that whole "content of our character," hope is not yet realised.

By the way, the clerk was black.

The Dream, Deferred?

Obama's president, but what the hell does that mean?

The other day I asked one of my kids when Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated, one replied "1992," the other in disgust of the answer confidently exclaimed "No, stupid. It was 1792." I asked them if they knew 1992 was only 17 years ago, and if they thought MLK died while I was alive. In shame, they replied "No." I also asked if they knew slavery was still in place in 1792, and if they thought MLK had been a slave. They replied, "Yes."

Daily I, You, We, the educated have to combat what these children have to see and hear daily. I try to keep my little sisters from being "Block Girls," who are fast and date everyone, and who get their hearts broken, but it's hard. I try to keep my little brothers from sagging their jeans, fighting, playing with girls' emotions and from idolizing those who aren't worthy of being idols, but it's hard.

Everything that I say or do has to be done with 100 times more force daily in order to even attempt to combat what they learn in their homes, their neighborhoods and on t.v.

Obama's the president, but as the bible says, "My people perish for the lack of knowledge..." My people are still perishing, so, yes Obama's African American, but my kids here in the South Bronx, who are taught everyone is connected aren't feeling any tinge of patriotic pull from D.C and surely no surge of educational prowess as they're losing in this academic fight.

By the way, for those of you who didn't know, Dr. King was assassinated in 1968.

Forever

Today, I thought about yesterday and a little bit about today, and then, inevitably so, i thought about tomorrow and Forever.

I used to not believe in forever, but I've realized that forever does exist. It exists not simply in our minds, but in our souls, and in reality. Let me explain to you my forever:

Some people say marriage is forever, some say friendship is forever, some say family is. I say it's all beyond that. Forever is about tying together two things drifting apart and fuzing them to never be separated again. My forever is FIORI.

Every time we're apart it's ok, because she's my forever and every time we come back together it's right where we left off. Events took place, but they're all in the chapters of the stories we'll reminisce over in our chats. There's never a reintroduction, just revivals of present day existence that's based on what is already predestinated. She's always been there, since the beginning. I can't remember a time in my life without her, and can't forsee one either.

No, she's not my girlfriend or my wife or anything like that. She has a good man of her own, and a beautiful daughter... but it's all very simple. She is my forever. Find your forever and you'll understand.

10-Week Challenge

Let's face it, In the land of Plenty, plenty is ALWAYS consumed. America is FAT, overweight, obese, how ever you want to put it. And, sadly enough, we're getting FATTER! Everyone is, well, everyone EXCEPT K.Erv.

For the next 10 weeks I will be vigorously pushing to improve my metabolism, my eating habits and overall fitness.

I challenge anyone out there to beat me. My heaviest weight in this lifetime was about 210 lbs. I weighed myself the other day at a number close to that. In 10 weeks, I'll be at 165...

See me in the streets, actually, see me in the gym.
April 6th, thats the weigh in date... Weigh yourselves this week, and then on April 6th... Go Hard for Health!

Brooklyn We Go Hard

Exploitation of the dead never gets old. A lot of people are currently cashing in, again, on the Notorious B.I.G. Never fails, recession, black president, remorse -- none hold any weight in comparison to the age old get-rich scheme of exploiting the dead, through ALL mediums.

Soundtracks, singles, and now movies are still resurrecting the Notorious B.I.G... And with fastidious fervor. Here goes my review.

As I sat in a huge theatre in wack Staten Island beside my little brother, I was expecting another "Black Film" like State Property, or Repo Man or anything by Master P. But to my surprise and excitement, this movie was FAR from any of those attempts at cinematography.

From the films inception I was hooked. The gentlemen who played Biggie did an amazing job, as did Biggie's son who played the younger version of the amazing Christopher Wallace. Diddy was played close to his counterpart, but slightly less arrogant and over the top (note: Diddy Executive Produced the movie). Tupac was also very true to life.

Angela Bassett SUCKED as Voleta Wallace, whose accent drifted in and out as the movie progressed. I felt a bit sad for Lil Kim, as they adequately portrayed her as the slide off -- turned artist, who's sex appeal and whore-like ways weren't merely held to the lyriqs of her songs. Faith was portrayed as an angel, super innocent. Good role.

The storyline was captivating and held me from start to finish. The movie was actually very comical, and because it was written by a Hotchkiss graduate, clearly had the right mix of storytelling simplicity and visual grandeur.

Actually filmed in Brooklyn, as I recognized all the areas present. It was refreshing to see Brooklyn portrayed as something other than "Crooklyn." It was refreshing to see a story of hope, perseverence, and struggle (internal and external).

Go see it, don't bring the kids, though, Lil Kim is naked almost from her first scene. LOL, shocked me!

Brooklyn stand up for C. Wallace, our hero.

K.

Introduction to My Mind

Good morning ladies and gentlemen,

Here I am, joining the blogging culture we live in... It had to happen eventually, right? I guess I picked this up after reading "All Parts Rejoice as 1" by my boy, Twenty1. He discussed music, and politics, and maybe a fashion pointer here and there, but mostly music.

I was going to discuss the same, but then I had other ideas, and figured I'd discuss whatever came to my mind... thus giving us the title, Sound.In My Mind.

Now you'll be able to hear my thoughts. No holds barred. Your name might show up, your face (if you're cute), or who knows.

Be prepared to hear K.Erv liked you've never heard him before. You'll hear my thoughts ranging from the pulpit to the main stage and EVERYTHING in between.

See You Soon,
K.